Titto Thommy

Enterprise software isn’t just about code—it’s about choreography.

The product owner asks what you think about the new workflow design—but he doesn’t really want your opinion. What he wants is for you to ask him what he thinks, then nod thoughtfully as he walks you through it. This isn’t politics or power play. It’s the silent handshake of enterprise software culture.

Collaboration in tech isn’t just about systems—it’s about social systems. Someone asks, “Is this implementation realistic?” You say, “It’s doable, but let’s look at the details.” Then you gently redirect the question to get a feel for what they’re really concerned about. It’s a dance, choreographed in kickoff meetings and backlog grooming sessions.

The phrases in meetings come out like boilerplate code: “Makes sense.” “Let’s circle back.” “I’ll take that offline.” “Curious to hear your take.” These aren’t always about clarity. They’re about continuity. They hold space in standups and stakeholder calls. They’re the semantic padding that keeps people comfortable.

One of our analysts once told me, “Nobody really cares how a process works until it breaks.” We all nod, knowing it’s true. The discovery workshops, the RACI charts, the “AS-IS vs TO-BE” models—they’re rituals. Like asking a developer how far along a feature is when you already know it won’t make the sprint. It’s not dishonest—it’s the ceremonial part of progress.

Most of the time, people aren’t listening to understand. They’re listening to respond. Sprint reviews, design sessions, architecture boards—everyone’s waiting for their chance to talk. The silence between comments is just compile time for the next idea.

The client asking how things are going doesn’t want your full truth about security edge cases or data mapping issues in the ServiceNow integration. They want the performance of “smooth delivery.” You’re performing “solution expert,” and they’re performing “engaged stakeholder.” Neither of you will remember the status update verbatim after the call ends.

What would happen if we broke the script? If someone asked, “How’s the build going?” and you answered honestly about the undocumented legacy system, the over-scoped requirements, or how you’re not sure the process even needs to exist? The gears of polite enterprise collaboration would seize up. Everyone knows it. That’s why no one does it.